Thanks for the Mammories....

This is a poem I wrote in Bonnie Maurer's "Healing Power of Writing" breakout session during the Cancer Support Community's Survivors Symposium that I attended a couple weeks ago.   We were given about ten minutes to write a poem using "I am" to begin each sentence.  Ready to Fly I am suddenly a changed woman. I am breast cancer woman. I am a HER2+ and ER+ woman. I am a surprised woman. I am a scared woman. I am a tough decision making woman. I am suddenly a changed woman. I am a humorous woman. I am a strong woman. I am a tough woman. I am a don't need help woman. I am superwoman. I am suddenly a changed woman. I am a scarred woman. I am a woman without breasts. I am a woman with little hair. I am a woman who doesn't feel beautiful. I am a woman whose body has changed. I am suddenly a changed woman. I am an accepting woman. I am a woman who had cancer. I am a woman who grew new wings. I am a thriving woman. I am read...

     Cancer Survivor ...not something I ever dreamed I would be calling myself, especially at 42 years old.  But here I am...a survivor joining a group of over 13 million Americans other survivors .  Now while that is a large group of people, it is actually only about 4% of the population.  So now that I am a survivor , what do I do?  Because the journey certainly doesn't just end here.  Somehow the survivor now needs to become the sur-thriver .      The first thing I decided to do was attend the 9th Annual Cancer Support Community's Survivors Symposium in Indianapolis .   On June 15, I had the privilege to share my day with about 100 other cancer survivors .  It was on this day that I realized how important other survivors are to my journey.  It is such a powerful moment when others confirm your feelings, isn't it?  The reality that you are not the onl...

   Two weeks ago, I was so happy to be finished with my chemo treatments!  Wow, what a relief!   I went to get that chemo infusion every week while keeping my family's schedule together and going to work...somehow I pulled through it. You can walk away with a real sense of pride, because you did it!      I knew the 12 weeks of chemo would be the worst of what I would go through. So I thought that even though I wasn't finished with everything else, I could still get my life back to normal . And of course, I felt like everyone else was waiting for me to get my life back to normal .  But I am quickly learning that what we are really talking about is a new normal .  How do we establish this new normal in our lives after the cancer is gone?  I know that this is a question that many of us are struggling with right now.    I just want to...

I had the pleasure of getting dirty with my team of 30 wonderful women yesterday at the Dirty Girl Mud Run.   Several months ago, my friend Dawn told me she would like to put a team together for the run in my honor.  I never dreamed that we would have such a large team.  For those of you who are not familiar with the Dirty Girl Mud Run, it is a 5K run and obstacle course with the added feature of MUD! You have crawl through the mud, climb over mud, wade through a muddy creek, slide into a mud pool and more. It goes on all day long with a new wave of women starting every 15 minutes.  Our wave started at 8:00 am which we all whined about beforehand...but in the end, I think we were all glad we were in the first wave.  After the run, you are covered in mud...mud in your hair, mud in your ears, mud in your shoes, and a few other places where you do not want mud to be! However, you do get a cute T-shirt, a necklace and one free beer...which yes...

My wonderful mother who has taught me by example and given me so much!       I woke up extra thankful this morning as my five children surrounded me with hugs and a delicious breakfast in bed. While Mother's Day always makes me feel so thankful for the women in my life, today was different.       I am so thankful to be alive, and that I was given a chance to beat the cancer that tried to invade my life.  When you become a mother with cancer, at first you can't breathe because you realize how much you have to lose. Upon hearing those dreadful words, I was prepared to do whatever I had to do to beat it and not miss a moment of my children's lives.  When I think about the fact that if I hadn't scheduled my mammogram when I did, if I had waited maybe even 6 months, this could have been a very different story.       I am also thankful for...

Breast Tissue Expander What in world are breast tissue expanders and how exactly does that work?  I answer these questions often. As many of you know, I am going through this process right now. Like so many others, I wasn't even aware that this was a possible step in breast reconstruction. I had my bilateral mastectomy on February 14, 2013. After my breast tissue was removed, my plastic surgeon put in tissue expanders. Expanders are implant like devices that are used to expand the breast tissue and muscle to eventually comfortably fit breast implants, creating a more refined breast shape and better symmetry. When the tissue expanders are first positioned on the chest wall, they are partially filled with saline. A few weeks after surgery, the expansion or "fill'er ups" (as I called them) are started.  As you can see in the picture above, the expanders have a fill port that is built into ...

Update....  I just finished #9 of 12 Taxol chemo treatments. I still have my hair although it is getting very thin on top.  I just wear hats everyday now because the longest of my hair is curly and still looks good with the hats. Thank goodness I had a ton of hair to begin with.  I still lose a small pile of hair everyday, which has slowed but gone on for five weeks now. It is emotionally draining and stresses me on what to do with it, as I just have to take it day by day.  I have to say in general that my spirits aren’t what they have been. I am trying very hard to stay upbeat, but it has been a struggle the last couple of weeks. I’m exhausted. I’m emotionally worn out.  There are so many things that I just can’t do. And if you know me, you know that I am struggling with that! I really hate feeling so weak. But the good news is...I only have three more Taxol chemo treatments and five more Herc...