The New Normal...How Do We Establish a New Normal in Our Lives After the Cancer is Gone?

   Two weeks ago, I was so happy to be finished with my chemo treatments!  Wow, what a relief!   I went to get that chemo infusion every week while keeping my family's schedule together and going to work...somehow I pulled through it. You can walk away with a real sense of pride, because you did it! 
   I knew the 12 weeks of chemo would be the worst of what I would go through. So I thought that even though I wasn't finished with everything else, I could still get my life back to normal. And of course, I felt like everyone else was waiting for me to get my life back to normal.  But I am quickly learning that what we are really talking about is a new normal.  How do we establish this new normal in our lives after the cancer is gone?  I know that this is a question that many of us are struggling with right now.
   I just want to feel like me and feel wonderful again. But I don't feel wonderful!  I am still exhausted everyday with weak and achy muscles.  I still have one more surgery in a couple of weeks. Because I still have the expanders, I can't do much physical activity.  I am terribly uncomfortable with my hair, as it is a constant reminder of what I have been through.  Cancer changes who we are.  I don't think that we can be the same person that we were before diagnosis.  Sometimes when we stand on this threshold of new and different, it can be a lonely and scary place.
   As I continue to do a lot of soul searching, as well as research, I have learned that we need to go easy on ourselves. As mothers and employees, this is a hard thing for us to do, isn't it?  We continue to try to do it all. We need to let others around us know that we are not back to normal. We need to be patient and give our bodies time to heal.  As our body is dealing with chemo, mastectomies, menopause, and other body changes, we need to remember that we are far more than the sum of our physical parts.  Processing our emotions helps us in accepting what is happening to our bodies. We need to see the importance of  staying positive and expressing how we feel. Maybe we do this by talking with our spouse, or a relative, or a friend.  Some women find comfort in support groups while others may find writing a journal helpful.  I have found writing this blog is a therapeutic way for me to process my feelings, while sharing my journey with relatives and friends.  
   In our transition into our new normal, we may feel the need to reassess our life choices.  We may find we are less willing to be tolerant of what we may have put with before cancer. We may find changes in our lifestyles and our attitudes that we need to make. And this is okay, as we may vow to start living a life more true to who we really are. 
So I will try to embrace this new normal I have been given, as I realize now that life isn't going to be what it was before cancer.  Sometimes you have to be thankful for the bad things in your life, for they open you eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before. 
Stay strong and positive! 
We can do this!!