How to Prepare for a Mammogram

Maxine says...
For me, the ability to laugh at something is really the best way to get my anxiety off my chest. So when I found this, I knew I had to post it.  Now listen to me...a mammogram is NOT as horrible as this makes it sound. I promise! But nonetheless, I recommend reading this right before your next mammogram.  Then hopefully, right in the middle of having it done, these exercises will pop into your head and make you start laughing. 

HOW TO PREPARE FOR A MAMMOGRAM
 Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, and even if they have had them before, there is fear. But there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test, and best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises right in your home.
EXERCISE 1: Open your refrigerator door, and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat (just in case the first time wasn't effective).
EXERCISE 2: Visit your garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor sideways with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Switch sides, and repeat for the other breast.
EXERCISE 3: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Have the stranger press the bookends against either side of one of your breasts and smash the bookends together as hard as he/she can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year to do it again. You are now properly prepared!
(Thanks to HysterSisters.com)

Remember my friends...step one is to schedule the mammogram.  Just contact me if you have questions!

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